I don’t care how big or bad your boyfriend is, I’m gonna fight to get you back

guise.

guise.

guise listen—now he’s—GUISE!

Now, he’s her big, bad boyfriend.

Since there’s a club to my ASS. 

mizzgoldenjones:

I’ll open a club to his ABS. I’m starting with “Glory Roll Association”, I need tips.

troutymouthingoff:

Which sounds better and why?

Add the Have Mercy Foundation to the ballad!

"Mary? Tell them about our prom and how I got you in the back seat by picking up a bobby pin." —-

Eric Jones, Creature

buckydonegunn:

I found this on my comp last night. I can’t remember when I did it. Lol. Lol at me thinking I would make a comic. Just lol.

Honey, I would be DELIGHTED to.

Ain’t Shit!Sam was created discovered by a few of my best friends and I but was brought to life by Cari (cariosity)—who is a phenomenal smut writer, in the Samcedes drabble fic Anytime, Anyplace.

Ain’t Shit Sam is the alter-ego (for lack of a better word) of Sam Evans. He is Honey Badger-Boyfriend!Sam on STERIODS and Viagra, ok? He is rude in every sense of the word. He possesses no fucks in regards to anything besides his Mercedes, do you understand? He fucks and talks like a pornstar in the bedroom, but is polite as fuck as he fucks his woman into the mattress, are you getting all this?

I really wish I could have explained that better and with less crass, but I got the vapors just thinking about it. Forgive me new follower, for I am not usually this ridiculous.

Ain’t Shit Sam!!! 

samcedesistherealeffingdeal:

I love when I am reading a Fanfic and you can tell the precise moment when Sam Evans have left the building and you are now dealing with Ain’t Shit Sam.

raelsun:

She sang to sold-out crowds every night, but whenever she looked up and her eyes met his, the world disappeared and no one else mattered.

lunanderson:

Samcedes is Prom

ducksinthehat:

What happened next would be later known as the Battle of the Blanket, longer and more epic than The Lord of the Rings.

…or, well, that’s how Sam tells it.

the nooootes.

;____;